Perfectionism and ADHD are a surprisingly common and unhelpful pairing. Many people assume ADHD is all about chaos, impulsivity, and half‑finished tasks. Yet in clinical work, it’s just as common to see the opposite: people who are highly self‑critical, stuck, and waiting until conditions feel just right before they begin or complete a task (ever had a 3pm appointment and just waited the day away…)
From a my perspective as a Psychologist, perfectionism in ADHD isn’t about having high standards. It’s about how the ADHD brain relates to action, motivation, and the concept of “done.” Understanding this relationship can be a turning point in breaking long‑standing patterns of procrastination and burnout.
The ADHD brain and the “done / not done” trap
One of the less talked‑about features of ADHD is how binary things can feel. Tasks are often experienced as either not done or done with very little, if any, space in between.
This creates a problem.
If something isn’t fully complete, polished, or resolved, the ADHD brain tends to categorise it as not done, which can feel uncomfortable, overwhelming, or even anxiety‑provoking. ADHDers (and humans in general) are just not good at discomfort. Perfectionism steps in here, not to challenge this binary thinking, but to reinforce it. The unspoken rule becomes:
“If I can’t do it properly, there’s no point starting.”
In clinical practice, and in my own experience, the grey area is often that which is most neglected. I can’t start a project and leave it half done, but that then becomes an issues in itself, the start never happens and hence nor does the end. This grey area is exactly where sustainable change happens.
Why intention matters more than completion
In ADHD work, one of the most important mindset shifts is learning to value intention and initiation, not just execution or completion.
Starting a task is an action. Opening the document. Writing one sentence. Thinking about the structure of a project. These steps matter, even if nothing tangible is produced yet. We have to find a way of ensuring that the dopamine is reiforcing effort, not just completion.
Perfectionism dismisses these early steps as “not real work.” ADHD then adds another layer of difficulty by making task initiation neurologically harder in the first place. The result is a double bind: you can’t start unless it’s perfect, and you can’t make it perfect unless you start.
From a therapeutic perspective, we want to actively challenge the idea that value only exists at the end point. In ADHD, movement toward a task is the goal, not the finished product.
Perfectionism as a way of staying stuck
Another important piece to understand is how perfectionism interacts with dopamine.
ADHD brains tend to rely more heavily on interest, urgency, novelty, or reward to engage. Perfectionism can quietly become a way of waiting for the right internal state—motivation, confidence, clarity, energy—before acting.
“I’ll start when I feel more motivated.”
“I’ll do it properly when I have more time.”
“I just need to get into the right headspace first.”
On the surface, these sound reasonable. Underneath, they often function as a form of avoidance, keeping you stuck while you wait for a dopamine boost that may never arrive.
Perfectionism promises relief after the task is done perfectly. ADHD keeps delaying action until the reward feels guaranteed. Together, they can create long periods of paralysis rather than productivity.
Why perfectionism feels protective
It’s important to say this clearly: perfectionism usually develops for a reason.
Many adults with ADHD have histories of criticism, underachievement, or being misunderstood. Perfectionism can emerge as a way of trying to avoid future failure or judgement. If you do things perfectly, there’s less risk of being seen as careless, lazy, or incompetent.
Unfortunately, this strategy often backfires. The standards become so high that starting feels impossible, reinforcing shame and self‑doubt rather than preventing it.
Creating space between “not done” and “done”
Psychological work with ADHD and perfectionism focuses on expanding the middle ground.
This might include:
- Redefining success as engagement, not completion
- Practising “good enough” starts
- Intentionally stopping tasks before they’re finished
- Separating self‑worth from output
- Learning to tolerate the discomfort of partial progress
- Completing the time that you have set to do something, rather than completing the project
These approaches are not about lowering standards or giving up on goals. They’re about working with how the ADHD brain actually functions, rather than against it.
A more compassionate reframe
Instead of asking, “Why can’t I just get this done properly?”, a more helpful question is:
“What would count as a meaningful start right now?”
For people with ADHD, progress often comes from repeated, imperfect beginnings, not from waiting for the perfect moment to act.
Perfectionism keeps the focus on the finish line. Therapy helps shift attention to the step in front of you.
If you’re finding yourself stuck between wanting things to be right and struggling to begin, working with a psychologist who understands ADHD can help untangle this pattern – You can find me at Insite Psychology on the Gold Coast (and online)
But if you are wanting online and day to day support for ADHD and executive function, consider checking out the Procrastinot app.
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